Roa: Something went wrong with my project yesterday and it deleted everything
Speaker A: Hi guys.
Roa: I had an entire different episode planned for you. This is Roa, by the way your had a feeling. Hi, I had an entire different episode planned for you because I have recorded.
Speaker A: An hour long episode with me talking.
Roa: And guiding you through all of my.
Speaker A: Healing stories, all the things that I've been through with my body, and how I healed them with holistic approaches and how human design helped me with do that and now you hear me sigh M because I'm really, really angry. So what happened was that I yesterday opened my project with this episode. I needed to edit it and hour long. I recorded it two months ago. Guys. I really, I was really looking forward. This was. I had it all planned out. Like I really wanted this to go up to you guys. and I opened the project and something went wrong on my computer and it deleted thenire a project or. No, it didn't delete the project, it delete the sound from the project.
Roa: So that is pretty much the most.
Speaker A: Important thing when you're recording a podcast, you know. and I tried to close it off, restart it, don know a bunch of times and it wanted me to reboot this product. Okay, I don't, I don't want to get into all the nitty gritty of it. I don't want to but I really, I was struggling with this project, in this app that I use for recording and it, it just didn't want to work and it has deleted everything. Like everything. An hour long episode. So this, this triggered my anger. And then I thought, okay, we have anger season. Let's hear from an angry manifesto, shall we? Let's hear from me so in advance. I want to apologize for my tone. I want to apologize for my anger because I'm pretty sure I've taken the archetype Chris and you can do that as well. that you can feel it because.
Roa: I'm a silent volcano.
Speaker A: So'Pretty sure you feel it. Oo sing out of my energy. How fucking mad I am. Sorry. But I, I was thinking, okay, we all have this anger in `` of us. We all, we all get very really angry sometimes. We get triggered and we really stupid things like this, it's not that big a deal really. But yeah, that can trigger anger. And let's normalize this feeling. Let's hear from me when I am angry. Let's hear how it sounds, how the energy is feeling, how how you can almost taste my anger. Because I know that you feel this way too. I know that you have this build up inside of you as well as a fellow manifesto. So therefore trigger warning. I am angry in this episode and I want to talk a little about how it feels, how the embodied feeling of anger is for me. It can be slightly different, of course for you, but there are probably some areas here that you, that you.
Roa: Can relate to, I guess.
Anger has been building up for some time now. And this is also kind of triggering
Speaker A: And now as the angry manifesto that I am today or tonight, because it's really, really late actually. And here in Denmark we have summertime, really, really midsummer. And it's very, very bright outside. We only have darkness for like two to three hours a night. And it's not really that dark. We have what's called light clouds in the night. So the sun is like, putting light up on the clouds. In Denmark, from the other side of the earth, we don't have a lot of darkness. And my kids, they won't sleep. so, yes, they are coming to bed very late. And this is also kind of triggering, you know, I want to sleep. the joys of motherhood and angchness. Ang greennness. But I am recording this on my phone. Usually I'm recording with, you know, the whole setup with my mic and my audacity and everything is like connected and clean and you get a very nice sound. So I'm really hoping this is okay because it's just a memo on my iPhone, me recording it here. But I just need to get this out. I need to talk about this now. Hello, little throat. Okay, quick recap. I'm a six chleinic manifestor. I am a medical doctor. I'm also an ayurvedic practitioner. I'm an herbalist. I am, doing a lot ofal health metaphysics and use that for my healing, for my clients as well. Ah, very, very, very potent work. So that's me. So actually my angleness has been building up for some time now. And this podcast, deleting stuff happening. It was, the straw that broke the camel's back, the silent volcano, you know, archetype. That's me. I had some issues for the last couple of days with, a man. And that's all I can say. And I am really, really, really angry at him. U I could almost call him a boy because he's acting out like a boy. He's not acting like a man. He's acting like a fucking boy. Sorry. U and then we have the whole lighting scenario happening in Denmark. Not really a fan of it right now. we know most often Times I love the sun, but not in night time. Please not night time. And then I had a whole hiccup scenario with my mother. Stuff happened, you know, usually mother, daughter think, nothing really that serious. M just me getting triggered and me actually my mother, when I was a kid, she told me I was a walk around volcano. She never know. You never knew when I would explode. And I never exploded. I guess it's just oozing out of me when I'm angry. And I never got the platform to release my anger, to have a safe space, a safe haven, to just let the fucking out of my system, to just let it out of my body, out of my throat, because I want it out of my throat. So here's how it feels in my body. This is something that has taken me many, many years to recognize. actually just in the last couple of years that I have gained this embodied knowledge of. Okay, this is anger for me and acknowledgement and recognition of this is how anger fills my body. So when I feel like this, it's because I'm angry. And it's because I have lived my entire life as a manifestor who has just been apathic, been silencing my own anger. And so it has been oozing and under the surface. And now when I'm so much more striized, so much more deconditioned and so much more authentic to me and I've been through all of the deconditioning, I can recognize how it feels in my body when I get triggered and when I get angry. And it's really big thing for me now to see how it has been building up in my system for all these years and how I have silenced it. How I hadn't even had a connection to my anger, to recognize how anger felt in my body. And I didn't know, I didn't know that this was anger. I didn't know this was anger. I don't know, I don't know what I called it, but I didn't know it was anger. So now when I get angry, I or get triggered into anger. I feel a restlessness, a tightness and kind of like my blood is boiling in my chest. I feel it in my chest, I feel it in my throat. I feel it like I want to, I want to give a big raw out of my throat. That is how it feels in my body when I get angry. I want to scream. Not scream, you know, high pitch screaming. I want to raw. I get, when I get really, really angry, I just want to e Get it out of my throat. and it comes from my chest. and this might be. I might have a definition to a defined ego. I don't know if there's something maybe with the ego not getting its way maybe. Yeah, that's interesting and really, interesting to talk about that wid angry manifest. Don't do that.
Roa: Don't do shadow work while you're angry.
Speaker A: Really.
Roa: O. This is what projectors do to us. This is how they can pinpoint you.
Speaker A: And say, oh, maybe it's because, your ego is like, you're not getting its way in something. So don't do that to an angry manifesto who not get any better. So I'm. I can be, laughing at myself because it's not like I am. You know, don't get. Don't get afraid of the anger. Don't get afraid of me. With all of this, I can laugh it off and it is what it is. It's also very silly thing that I'm mad about and angry about. So it's not like it's u.
There's a lot of conditioning around anger. We all feel shame around our anger
Roa: Yeah, let's just talk about that little.
Speaker A: Shame because now I get like, oh.
Roa: My God, all you guys listening to me.
Speaker A: You. You get afraid of me, Hearing me in this authentic, really, really authentic angry way. and that's the shame. Then I feel like, oh, my God, I'm so ashamed. How could I even talk to all of these people? Showing me in this vulnerable, really angry state. No one wants to hear that. No one wants to hear from an angry manifesto. so let me just take my six line up here. That is okay. I'm here to show you that that is okay. We all get angry. It's just a feeling. It's just a feeling. It is just showing you that something is overstepping your boundaries or something is wrong. Something has been building, and you need to set a boundary and you need to. To take a look at how is this inthentic to me, what has gone wrong, why you actually need to do, you know, the projector pinpoint.
Roa: What's the shadow here?
Speaker A: We need to do that.
Roa: So that's actually what we need to.
Speaker A: M. To see the anger as. So, you know, theictors, they are always right in that there is always a reason. I'm saying this because my mother, she's a projector. So, yeah, she's always right.
Roa: Dear mother, always write, even though I.
Speaker A: Don'T like it all the time.
Roa: so your anger is your guidance. Your anger is actually just telling you that it's called your not self. So it's actually just telling you you are in your not self. You are inauthentic to what your authority has told you how your inner, authentic being wants to live, wants to.
Speaker A: Be in this world.
Roa: Something triggered you into anger and that was inauthentic to you. So you need to, like, spin around and do something else. And you need to take another turn or set a boundary. Ah, listen to your authority. However it is what is telling you this anger.
Speaker A: But I also just want to say.
Roa: That we all feel this shame around our anger. It's a huge thing. And if we need to show you. I need to show you how it is okay to be in your anger. And it is, trust me, this is really, really, really hard for me. And I don't know if I will release this. maybe I've record something tomorrow that is not that, vulnerable M. And when I'm not in the moment, or maybe I will take a step out of the cliff, jump off the cliff and show you that it's okay that I can be vulnerable for you. To show you how it's okay to be angry. It's okay to show yourself from your very angry way. And to teach other manifestos. You don't have to feel shame around your anger. So there's a bunch of conditioning around anger. You know, historically, as manifestos, we are, set in this area with all of these tyrants like Hitler and Stalin. So they use their. They really use their anger for tremendously bad things. So there is this part of conditioning that you feel shame about your anger with your relationship with those kind. you, you don't have to'just there is just madness. You know, it's nothing to do with you. but it is conditioning in our manifest, the bloodline, so to speak. and then there is the shame around, being an angry woman. If you're a woman and even if you're a manifested woman. So that's a double. And then there is the conditioning from society in general that everybody feels that everyone, is conditioned upon that anger. We don't want to see anger. Anger is a bad feeling. We have been taught that since we were child, that don't be angry. Or if you want to be angry, don't yell, don't be outrageous, don't get it out of your system. You can't do that. Of course, you can't hit someone, you know, but you need some kind of outlet for your anger. And now that leads me to.
Speaker A: The.
Roa: Important part of healing your Anger getting to the point where you actually see, where you can recognize and you can acknowledge what is the shadow behind this? What is the anger telling me? What is the message in the language under this anger? Because if you don't do that, if you don't release it, if you don't get it out of your system, it build, build up in your system and it creates imbalances throughout your body. I have created a holy book about this called love your liver. It will be released very soon. If it hasn't been released on this date, I don't really know yet. But otherwise you can go read love your liver if you have anything liver related or anything like burning anger. If you want to understand the metaphys physics around anger a little bit better and how it can be.
Speaker A: Manifested in your body in a physical.
Roa: Way if you don't heal it. And we don't feel shame around that because we all do that and what the steps are, how it accumulates and how your emotional and psychological kind of pathways are formed around anger. How you get into this either ah, passive relationship that you don't feel your anger and it just builds up and builds up and builds up. Or you can, or you can like be the one who are aggressive, very aggressive and don't really get it through in the right way. So there's a lot of emotional pathways that you can form around your anker and I go through one of those as well. And then there are the whole section of how to heal it holistically. So there's a lot of tools in there as well. Like a lot, a lot, a lot. And it's herbs and it's recipes and it's how you actually physically understand your liver and how it works. That is all of the vitamins and supplements that can be good for you as well. There arey youurvedic tools and practices. So yeah, that's a lot. And that was just my little promo around that.
I like to get rid of my anger by roaring when I feel angry
Okay, let's move on. I want you to release your anger. I want you to get in touch with your anker. I want you to release it now. I feel it in my che chest and in my throat. I feel this roaring coming out of me. So I like to get rid of my anger by roaring when I feel angry. But it has taken me years to understand that this is how it feels for me. I also like fill it out in my extremities or in my hands. I feel it like a, the tightness in my hands and therefore I Like to use for an example fists of anger with Secundalini yoga practice. You can find it on YouTube. And if you don't know it, so doing fists of anger has really also helped me to get in touch with how anger feels for me. and to get release it, let it go, let it out. and it doesn't work if you just do it one time. You need to do it like a practice over and over and over again. But if you are in your anger right now, I want you to connect yourself to your body. I want you to take some deep breaths and I want you to describe to yourself, where do I feel my anger? How does it actually feel in my system? How does anger feel in my system? And if you feel it in your, in your stomach or if you feel it in your legs tiding up or in your buttocks tiding up, use something that release it is from these, these areas that would be really good. So you can also be dancing. I also like to put on the anger playlist you can find on Spotify. I will try to put the link up in here as well in in the notes. but there me and Diana Nash has put together a playlist and I think it should be shareable. So when you click on the link you are able to put in all of your own angry, angry songs. So that we all have this one angry Spotify playlist where we all share all of our anger songs. And yeah, just put some of those on. Put on the anger playlist and dance it fucking out. Turns it out. Honey, we want to dance it out. it's something I really like to do to dance it out and be really, really angry and then dance it out, get it released. And then I'm so tired afterwards. And sometimes I'm lucky that I get to cry. I'm not always that lucky. I whis I sometimes hit or actually I've hit that for quite a while. A cry war where I just can't get through to my tears. and it takes a lot to get through to the tears for me. But it's really, really good when it comes. And it comes when I feel safe and when I feel releasement. But it take safety and that most oftentimes it takes other people to create that safety for me around me m and then I can release and I can cry and it's absolutely amazing.
Speaker A: Actually.
Roa: I just wanted to say that when I first started to get in touch with my own anger, when I first started to notice when I was angry.
Speaker A: I didn't know that I had to get it through my throat.
Roa: I started to build the connection through writing. I have always been writing journals.
Speaker A: Also been writing a lot of books.
Roa: Started on a lot of books, never finished them. But, if you are at a place right now where you need to just start, to get in touch with your anger, then it's okay to bitch it out in your journal. Go bitch it out in your journal. Go talk in your journal about how freaking angry you are or just how sad you are, how dramatic. Be dramatic in your journal. That's okay. You can ditch all of the stupid stuff happening in your life in your journal. It's your journal, so just write it out. Just be. Be all the things that you don't think you can say out loud. Say it in your journal. Start there. If this is where you're at, that's perfectly fine. Just to form a language around it. And if you do have someone you can share with, if you do have some very good friend that you can. That doesn't judge when you're angry, that doesn't shame you for. For being angry, go to that friend. That is. That is love. That is actually love. When we don't judge, when we're just here holding space, letting the emotions run through us. and we need to offer that to each other. We need to offer that space holding to each other. I know you do that as a manifesto for so many people probably, and.
Speaker A: that you're very, very good at it.
Roa: So I really want for you to have someone that can hold that space for you as well, that don't judge you when you are angry. Let it out, honey. Into this. Out. Okay.
Speaker A: I think that was it for me.
Roa: Very short little one from the angry manifestor.
Speaker A: And, yeah, I do really hope.
Roa: That I get the energy to record all of my healing stories. I will get the energy at some point when my spen is telling me now it's the time. I will record the healing stories for you, and you will get all of those. So we'll talk.
Speaker A: Bye.
